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Maybe one day I'll get to live in a city with all the people I love

  Labuan.  Who would've thought this is the city I need to call home, perhaps for the next few years in my life. I hate finding myself counting down to the days I can escape from this place when I'm supposed to find comfort here — a place I find my peace, a place that feels like home. Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to live in a city with all the people I love. With everyone I miss.  Would it feel like Southampton — home to my favourite people, the city where I spent some of my crucial years? Or would it feel like Kudat, a place rooted deep  within me yet somehow a little unfamiliar each time I return. Maybe Labuan isn't meant to be home in the way Southampton was, or in the way my future city will be. Maybe, this is just a chapter. A quiet, in-between space where I'm allowed to feel both sense of belonging and detachment. And still, maybe, just maybe, this is all I need right now. Living alone, away from everyone. Just so I can find myself, be my most authent...

25 sunrises and sunsets later

We have dreams to achieve, remember? Yet here you are, 25 birthday cakes later, countless of sunrises and sunsets later, still shaken with the thought of letting something go. Still pre-occupying yourself with trivial things. Still impulsively reacting to every hormones in your body. Yet you’ve made it this far.  

If you were a book, I reckon you’d be the one of complicated mess, unintelligibly deep, nonsensically hilarious work. I reckon a handful of people would stop midway to read but there will be a few that treasure. Despite this, there are a few things I hope you’d always remember.

I hope you always hold to your value even when people are pinning you down. I hope you always have the courage to take the risks. I hope you never forget that there is so much more to life than being happy. I hope you let things flow even when it gets uncomfortable. I hope you never forget that you’re a work in progress, so it’s okay to stumble along the way. I hope you realise that it’s okay to let your guard down sometimes, to put your ego aside, to never hold back anymore. I hope you always remember that deep within you is the whole universe expanding the ever small entity you think you are.

I hope you remember that when it gets a little heavy, prayer is the answer. I hope you never forget that it takes a little patience but a lot of faith to navigate through this life. So be patience and never rush the things that will eventually unravel itself. 

I hope you remember that there are mistakes you have yet to learn from, blessings you have yet to appreciate. On days you feel fragile or forgotten, I want you to read this and know that I am immensely proud of you and that I see you, I love you, and I’m rooting for you. I always have, and always will.


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