Everything is a win if the goal is to experience

 “Everything is a win if the goal is to experience” is the mantra I want to live by from now on. 2026 has been really rough for me and we’re barely halfway through the year. I recently saw a TikTok video by Khairani Ashry, an influencer from Brunei (which brings up a lot of mixed feelings for me ytjt), where she talked about having a “yes year” and a “no year.”

A “yes year” is when she says yes to almost every opportunity that comes her way, whether in her career or personal life. One thing she said that really struck me was that the decisions she makes in her personal life will eventually affect her career as well.

For a long time, I’ve tried to separate my personal life from my career. As an educator, I feel like I’ve been conditioned to always behave a certain way and set a good example for others. But I’m starting to realize how much that has limited me and affected my sense of freedom. I often feel like I have to put on a mask the moment someone knows I’m a teacher, as if I need to hide parts of myself to protect my professional image. Lately, though, I’ve realized that I’m the one putting that pressure on myself. I’ve been the one holding myself back.

She also talked about having a “no year,” where she sets boundaries and says no to things that don’t serve her. This is just as important as a “yes year” because learning to say no is essential for personal growth and it also impacts her professional life.

This brings me back to the quote I mentioned earlier. I want to make this a “yes year” for myself because over the past two years, I’ve been saying no to almost everything, both in my personal life and in my career. I’ve found myself constantly resisting even small things, like going on a weekend getaway with friends, simply because I didn’t feel like it. I’ve also turned down opportunities for career growth because they would require extra work, especially when that effort isn’t compensated.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is I’ve been making my decisions based on comfort, control, and whether something feels “worth it” in the moment, but that way of living has only made my world smaller. Looking back, I can see how often I’ve said no, not just to big opportunities, but even to small experiences that could have added something meaningful to my life. So maybe what I need now is a shift in perspective. Instead of asking whether something is worth my time or energy, I want to start asking whether it’s an experience I want to have. Because if the goal is to experience, then maybe nothing is truly wasted and maybe saying yes, even when I’m unsure, is how I begin to open my life up again.

With all of this in mind, I know it’s not going to be easy to suddenly become someone who says yes all the time. Saying no has been my default for so long. With the mindset I’ve had for a while now, anything that feels like it takes too much of my energy, I wouldn’t even consider doing. But maybe it doesn’t have to be a big, drastic change. Maybe I can start small. Just pausing for a moment before I say no and giving myself a chance to think about it differently. I don’t need to say yes to everything, but I do want to stop shutting things down so quickly. I want to slowly open myself up to more experiences, even if it feels a bit unfamiliar at first. Here's to healing and experiencing things!